san francisco chronicle

How Do You Communicate if Common Grounds and Interests Are the Basis of Your Foundation in Conversations?

Question by Asd: How do you communicate if common grounds and interests are the basis of your foundation in conversations?
I have a non conformatic attitude when it comes to people however if i share common interests then so be it. But my question is, how do I communicate with other or new people if common interests and common grounds are my basic foundation in conversations OR if i have little to know interest in what the other person is talking about.

I typtically find myself having few common interests with people though im always open minded to new things everyday, and I also have little to no interests in what theyre talking about. For example im actually an agnostic atheist metalhead who is very interested in science and computation technology. Earlier today i had to go to DUI court ordered class and theres this guy there who has an interest in beethoven and other music however he had this arrogant type attitude and I found it hard to talk to the guy as we had to share about our topics for 5 minutes before the teacher called on us.

Best answer:

Answer by wishnuwelltoo
Well we can’t all be clones of each other and we certainly need a variety of friends. I don’t know if you have to have a sincere interest, but to be interested in them while they are talking and maybe you sort out a way to help them with their problems. your common ground during DUI class probably wasn’t music, but the issue that caused you both to drink…….the trauma bond. You focused on music to avoid the topic that causes you both to escape with drugs and or alcohol. Maybe you both suffered a shared trauma, shared event, shared abuse……..If you are not connecting to people on a shared topic, change the subject.

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